Another loss

My sister delivered her son yesterday morning at 21 weeks gestation.  Sadly, he did not live.  My heart breaks for my sister, knowing the pain that she's going through and having that HUGE empty feeling.....

I was able to make it to the hospital yesterday before Todd headed to work.  I was able to hold my sister while she wept.  I was able to hold my sweet little nephew.  I was able.

I am so thankful for friends that pray for us.  I am blown away by the support I've received in my own losses from people that I've never even met in person.  Blown away by the love received from people that don't know us so well.  By the continued hugs of friends who know I'm STILL hurting.

But what I really DON'T get, is the people that I counted on to be there, weren't. My mother for example.  At this point, I really shouldn't be bothered by it anymore.  I get NO support from her.  She was one of the first people we called when we lost our second twin.  She never visited me in the hospital or at home.  There was no hug of loss, no "I'm so sorry", no "I love you".  Just "somethings aren't meant to be" and "you know, you're sister has had miscarriages, too".

I'm also surprised by the lack of ANYTHING from certain friends.  Especially a friend I considered to be one of my BEST friends.

There has been a HUGE void because of this.  Perhaps because God has brought OTHER people in my life that have been such wonderful support.  I don't think I could get through this without them.