|A small fleece blanket with a crocheted edging and a rattle sheep|
Todd and I snuggled with these after we got home from the hospital. It was hard being home and recovering without having a baby in my arms. These two items brought us a bit of comfort.
|Small foot prints and a crib card|
The baby wasn't developed enough to tell the sex, so we were told to go with whatever was in our hearts. I cannot tell you how terribly difficult that was.
|Beautiful footprints just over a centimeter in size|
The nurse had said she wasn't sure if she'd get footprints, as our baby had already started to decompose (sorry, it's true). So thankful for these two squishy little prints. It proves that our baby was here and was real.
Yesterday, Mother's Day, was especially hard for me. I felt lonely and my heart ached for my babies.
Being pregnant surely doesn't take away the pain from my losses. In fact, every little pain and twinge gets my stomach in a knot, wondering if it's going to happen again.
I have detached myself from this pregnancy quite a bit. I fear that any happiness will be stripped away like last time. I don't know when or IF that will change.
Todd was sweet and remembered this day would be hard for me.
|A wonderful delivery of white lilies this morning|
My husband knows how important symbolism is to me. Lilies are my favorite.
White means life...
I can never go back to before my losses. My heart has forever been changed. I pray for God's protection over this little life inside me and pray it's His will for it to grow and make it to my arms. I don't know what else there is.