is the memorial service that our hospital puts on for babies lost
within the last 6 months. My husband and I will be going. I've found
myself an emotional wreck the last few days; the tears come freely and
Aunt Flo came today on CD 25. Last month my
cycle was only 19 days long. My body is so messed up it doesn't know
what's going on anymore. I've had all sorts of bloodwork done,
including a sonohystogram, and everything appears normal.
know at this point that having a baby will not 'fix' me or make things
better. I'm missing three babies. There is no fixing that.
I'm terrified of becoming pregnant again, though. I'm terrified to go
through all of this again. I don't know if my heart could take it.
The feeling of emptiness is so overwhelming at times. I've got so many
friends who are due in the next 8 weeks it's just unfair. How many
times do I have to tell people that I'm SUPER happy for them, I'm just
so. incredibly. sad. for me?